The other day I was having a deep talk with some friends as we waited for the rains to subside. We were talking about the instances in the past that had created the people we were present day. While we were talking, it occurred to me that I haven’t had a serious relationship in over two years.
I pondered this thought the rest of the way home. I continued to ponder it up until the next morning when I woke up after having dreamt about my inevitable death in which I was completely alone. Here lies Kevin: the unlovable 😦 .
When speaking with another friend about it he advised me that I should get out and date more. At five years my senior, he assured me that when I was his age – I would regret it.
But isn’t dating all about timing? Meeting the right type of person at the right time in your life. The time in which you’re (hopefully) not promised to anyone else, you have the ability to build a future together, and you are both willing to jump in together?
My timing right now? Completely off. I’m dealing with ‘kutafta unga’ issues and the mental impact that they have on me each and every day. I started a new job less than a 6 months ago, I’m writing a book, I’m looking a for new job, I want to go back to grad. School. I can’t POSSIBLY be interested in dating right now. Right?
That’s the thing about our society, though… when you aren’t dating, everyone wants to know why. When you are dating, everyone wants to know where it’s headed. When you’re committed, people want to know when you’re starting the family or buying a house. It never ends. These endless expectations that we allow ourselves to buy into plague our minds whenever we talk to someone mildly interesting.
Dating IS about timing – our timing. Whenever we feel mentally ready and open to it. It isn’t for anyone else to decide.
We shouldn’t have to make up excuses to explain to others why we aren’t in a relationship. We just aren’t. Maybe the timing isn’t right, maybe we just got out of a serious relationship and are still healing, or maybe we are just focused on other things.
To some, it might seem worrisome that a 20 something year old ninja has little to no interest in dating just to date at this time in my life. But it isn’t for anyone else to decide.
It’s completely up to me, just as it is completely up to you.
There’s no timeline on when you have to be ready to open yourselves up and meet someone.
So yes…dating is about timing- it’s about your timing.