What do you want to be when you grow up?, I remember my ol’ man asking me this question about a decade and a half ago and my high school teacher asking us again after our graduation from ‘Monoism’. I can bet this is a question we have all been asked somewhere by someone during our infancy. My options were vast: I wanted to be a ninja today, a doctor tomorrow, a lawyer the day after and something else in-between.
Our generation still get the same questions, “What do you really want to do with your life,” they ask, “So have you decided what you want to do with your life?” they continue. I don’t know why they think we haven’t charted our future already, is it because we look young, or maybe because they can see the general realm of confusion that permeates through our skin. Who knows? It’s a question I still get, only as I get older, the question becomes more embarrassing, and even harder to answer.
The last couple of weeks have been wacky, full of busy schedules, travelling, head bugs, thinking and more thinking. But there’s been one topic of conversation that has come up over and over. It’s this thing about the referendum, ok, not in the real sense of the word but the effects of going for or against it. Especially as a desperate college graduate-job-seeking-ninja.
You see, as a twenty-something you have a lot going on in your mind, school, job, post-grad, family, partying….This is a period more about being scared. You’re scared to give up on your dreams: the ones that still seem to change from day to day, the ones that you’re not even sure are real, because the people that you love the most are still struggling to accomplish theirs. You’re also scared to pursue your dreams: because they keep changing, because they make no money, because what if you fail and you finally realize that you are not as good at all those things you were told you were good at as a kid.
It is somewhere in between here that you will realize that you’re no longer a recent graduate, and that the line markers that were set up for you as a kid, as a young adult, as a recent graduate, have yet to be achieved. It’s when you realize that other people are passing right by you and you’re treading water in the same place, with the same job, with the same problems that you can’t seem to fix.
It is here that you will start asking yourself how important is it to have a job that you love, and why? When you actually start worrying about HELB loans n shit. It’s when you realize that you’re working a job that you will never be able to retire from because you are never able to save more than a 5k a month; that you will always have to live in a bedsitter or house with multiple roommates in order to make rent; that you haven’t taken a real holiday since you were in college; that you will never make 120k a month. It’s when you start questioning your worth, and then wondering why humans mark their value in the amount of money they bring home each month.
The things that I’m passionate about, that many of the people I love are passionate about, are not things that our society tends to place value on. Photography and farming are not as important as being able to sell things (like insurance and bank loans) to the general public. It’s hard for me to understand how anyone can be passionate about selling insurance policies (which are a pure art of thieving from innocent hardworking peeps btw).
Then again, maybe I just don’t understand. Because people are passionate about everything. Some people find poaching exhilarating or just hacking into kdf’s twitter account for the fun of it just right, others find throwing rotten eggs at each other instead of formulating laws enjoyable.
I just happen to find writing and farming especially poultry farming mesmerizing. I like fast songs, I can watch movies all day every day. And I, no matter how many times I lose sight of it, will always find joy in listening to people, searching for the middle of every story, the meat with the bones still in.
My stage, our stage, in life is the frustration of not having the answers. Then again even grownups don’t have all the answers. So as politicians try to divide us along political and ethnic lines AGAIN, think about YOU!…..Think about your shit right now, whether its school, work, business, passion, religion, family, anything….Think about it, and be true to it!!